I just gift wrapped bread.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
