Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I think I just sharted jello shots
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
