Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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