Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
don't judge my taste in strippers
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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