i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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