Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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