he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
