I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize