youre lurking in front of me
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Randomize
