Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
