I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
