If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
