told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
