You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
