Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Drake has all the answers
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
