It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
