Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
