first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
