Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
