Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
try to milk me bitch
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