...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize