I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
