Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize