ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I party with great urgency now.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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