Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
