i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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