theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
