Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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