I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He felt like a one man threesome
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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