I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
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