I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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