My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Randomize
