you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Naked Twister starts at high noon
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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