I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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