am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
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