Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
