yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize