Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
We have so much sex to catch up on
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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