I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
