She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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