I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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