whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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