I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Let the clothes fall where they may.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
