Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
