Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
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