Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
