Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
