i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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