And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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