question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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