i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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