love makes seman taste better
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
