You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
