38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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