There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
