He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
