That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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