Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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