Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
