Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
