The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize