Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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