Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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