so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
