How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
