Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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