I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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