put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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