I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
