I'm laying in your front yard are you home
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
